Gratitude Journals that Work (Even When Life Sucks) Therapist in Santa Rosa
Gratitude journals can sometimes get lumped into the “toxic positivity” movement—where negative emotions are dismissed with forced optimism, like “Choose joy!” or “Count your blessings.”
True gratitude doesn’t deny pain but exists alongside it. It’s about acknowledging life’s hardships while appreciating meaningful moments. Here’s how to cultivate an authentic gratitude practice without feeling fake, silly, or contrived:
Start small, like really small
Many people begin gratitude journaling by listing big, universal aspects of life—food, shelter, family, health. While important, these are often impersonal and repetitive, making the practice feel stale.
Instead, focus on small, specific moments unique to your day. These personal details make gratitude feel more meaningful.
For example:
You got to wear your favorite sweater again; it always makes you feel warm and good in your body.
The text exchange with your partner reminded you of all the inside jokes the 2 of you share, and the times you had together to develop that rapport.
You blasted Lady Gaga on your drive home, reminding you of a memory of an impromptu dorm-room dance party with your friends.
The more specific, the better. If you’re stuck, ask yourself: Did I have a moment today where I was fully present, noticing something outside my own thoughts?
Gratitude often arises in these moments of presence, pulling us out of endless mental loops about the past or future.
Reflect on the Impact
Once you’ve identified a moment of gratitude, reflect on how it impacted you—even in a small way. Authenticity matters more than how impressive it sounds, so avoid exaggeration.
For example, your reflection might be as simple as:
“Today I spent 15 minutes reading my new book in my cozy bed.” The impact was:
“It gave me 15 minutes where I didn’t think about my problems.”
“It was so boring that I fell asleep early.”
“I followed through with something I told myself was important to me, and it felt good that I was accountable to myself even though I didn’t feel like reading.”
Authentic reflections help deepen your connection to the gratitude practice.
Recognize your contribution
Ask yourself: What did I do to create, allow, prioritize, or cherish this moment?
Connecting your actions to moments of gratitude fosters a sense of control and empowerment. It’s a reminder that we play an active role in creating positive experiences in life.
In the book example, you might reflect:
“I decided to let my endless to-do list wait and prioritized something I used to enjoy doing. I was able to find time for self-care even in chaotic times.”
Stay consistent
Try for one sentence for each step. One gratitude per day. It’s more important you stay consistent rather than only doing it on days you feel inspired to do so.
While it’s easy to find gratitude when we are having a great day and things are going smoothly, the mental practice of doing it on days when everything goes wrong is much more powerful.
Get connected with Therapy in Santa Rosa and online in CA today
When we go through difficult times in life, this is one small way to help yourself push through it with an increased sense of control and self-esteem.
However, sometimes we need more to get us through the tough moments- and that is where professional therapy can help.
If you are needing some extra support, check out how and who I help as a licensed clinical therapist in Santa Rosa. I offer in-person and online therapy and counseling throughout California. Book your free 15-minute consultation directly into my consultation calendar here.
Angela Sitka is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist with a private practice in Santa Rosa, CA specializing in relationship anxiety, codependency, breakup and divorce recovery for adults.